I don’t care if you live to be 100. Life is short. I have a few regrets in my life but none of them happened because I didn’t put myself out there. Any Woman that has ever been pursued by me will tell you that I don’t give up. Once I find something I want, I do not stop. It doesn’t matter if it’s a person, a new job, or a personal project. If I get put down or discouraged, I just keep coming.
This is different than perseverance. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and say I wish. This doesn’t mean I always get what I want. In fact, I rarely do.
The key is, at least I tried. I’ve been trying to get my own TV show for eight years now. I look at what’s on TV, and I think “I can do better than that” I’m trying as hard as I can and it’s not happening. At least when I get to the end of my life I’ll be able to say that I took the chance and did all I could, whether it happens or not.
I’m also the guy that will take a chance and go skydiving if ever given the option because I want to say I did. I’m fairly certain that everybody out there has something in their life that they’d like to take a chance on. They may not because they’re afraid of failure. Failure is part of life. If we never fail, we don’t learn. So whether it’s a business, a love interest, or a new flavor ice cream you’re thinking about taking a chance on, do it. I promise it will be worth it in the long run.
Seems pretty simple I know, but I think a ton of people in today’s world simply don’t believe in themselves. I always have. I think it annoys my mother. I can see why. There’s a fine line in life between believing in yourself, and staying humble while doing so, and believing in yourself so much that you become arrogant.
I’ll admit here and now to struggling with that line more often than I should. I often meet people who are meek and humble but have no self-confidence. Obviously, that approach doesn’t work either. Believe in who you are and what you can do, while also being willing to learn from others and you will go far. I’m not who I want to be at this moment, but I’ll get there, count on it
Every social interaction that you may take for granted completely changes when you’re on wheels. It’s like being stuck in an alternate universe where you know how things should work, but the normal rules do not apply.
man I hope the button is at my height.
BROKEN SOCIAL NORMS
There are a lot of things that are “backwards” for me that people don’t think about. I personally feel that men should hold doors open for women. Maybe it’s a Texas thing, or maybe it’s just a traditional old-school man thing, but I really feel that I should open doors and pull chairs out for women. I can’t pull a chair out for a woman unless I get there 20 minutes early. How do I get my chair around her chair so that I can push her chair out of the way? And then once she sits down, how to I gracefully help her slide forward to the table? Maybe if I ram it under with my wheelchair. Yeah, that’s chivalry. And stuff.
Come to think of it, nothing with dating is as it should be for a guy in a wheelchair. I remember when I was much much younger being in a bar and a woman asking me to dance. So I go out in the middle of the floor and it slowly dawns on her that I can’t dance. So she asks me, “So, how exactly do we do this?” I smiled and said, “You can sit in my lap”. I took her for a spin around the bar in my wheelchair. She said she would remember it forever because it was the best time she ever had in a bar. She probably didn’t, because she was too drunk to even remember me by the next day.
Unfortunately, if I were in a room with sober women this never would have happened. If I were to ask a sober woman to sit on my lap in my chair, they would be worried that 1. they are going to hurt me or 2. they start thinking that I’m a pervert. I am not a pervert, but riddle me this, all you women out there…How is a handicapped guy supposed to touch you or make any sort of move whatsoever if you are hovering so much higher up there? I’m sitting, you’re standing. By social norms, I’m allowed to maybe touch your elbow or shoulder to connect with you, but reaching up for an elbow looks like I’m reaching up for a breast and anything below that is off limits. I’m totally screwed. I swear I’m not a pervert. But maybe if I throw myself out of my chair I can get you to touch me. LOL. Just kidding.
Me trying to actually make a move on a lady is like a three-toed sloth trying to climb up a tree. It’s like a one legged frog trying to swim to China from the USA, or even from Japan for that matter. But, I digress…
In college I had a friend named Nikki. We were fairly close. Her birthday was coming up and I asked her what she would like for her birthday. She said she would like a ride in my lap across campus to her class. All the women who saw us gave us looks like, “How did that guy get that girl into his lap?” The men seemed to be looking like, “That guy is awesome!” When she got to her class, the other girls were talking about her in whispered tones. Finally, she pulled one of the girls aside and asked what was up. The girl said that the other girls were concerned that she may have hurt me by sitting on my lap. They didn’t think it was “appropriate” and so forth. They asked her, “What if you had broken his legs?” Nikki confidently said, “The worst I could have done is break his legs, but it’s not like he uses those anyway!”
I’m so glad that she took the ride in my chair. I felt included and normal for a little while.
I can’t hold doors open for women either. Usually they hold the door open for me. This is completely emasculating. I feel like I’m a failure in some way when this happens. I say, “Thank you”, but I’m thinking, “If I had working legs, I would totally sweep you off of your pretty little feet. I might even carry you through the threshold.”
When shopping items are on the top shelf it’s embarrassing if I have to ask a woman who is 5 foot 3 wearing 3 inch heels to reach the Fruity Pebbles or Count Chocola for me because I can’t. (Yes, I’m a child.) Not only does she look at me strangely because I’m asking her to get the cereal for me, but also because of the type of cereal. I should shake the box and say, “I wonder if there’s a toy in here?”
How many kinds of toilet paper are available in the grocery store to buy? We literally flush it down the toilet. But there are probably 100 different kinds of toilet paper.
“Well this one’s more absorbent!” If you’re using toilet paper that’s not absorbent, it’s not toilet paper. “Sir, you’re wiping your butt with a $10 bill.” If you save up 2 of those you can buy some real toilet paper.
Yeah, toilet paper is getting expensive. If inflation keeps up, we’ll start using dollar bills. But til then…
My mom has this issue in the grocery store with orange juice. Pulp, no pulp, strained, concentrated, pure, natural… Maybe if I drink the right orange juice I’ll have a bigger penis, grow taller, have a better sex drive and maybe even stand up and walk one day…voila! It’s a miracle! It’s the miracle of orange juice. The right one, that is. If we knew which orange juice was really the real orange juice, maybe we wouldn’t need so many supplements.
Have you noticed that there are calorie and fat content labels on everything? I was drinking a bottle of water the other day and looked at it realized that they labeled it 0 calories. Is there anyone who thought water was fattening out there?
This post was written a couple of years ago and I decided to use it for this post. Most of these observations come from growing up the way that I did. We didn’t have a lot, but we had what we needed and didn’t always get what we wanted. Looking back I’m a better man for it. I don’t know if he did it on purpose, but my dad taught me the value of hard work and that you get out of life what you put in it and nothing more.
Just show up and you win
I understand that people are concerned about the self-esteem of children these days. Nobody ever “loses” at anything. Even the losing team at the sporting event gets some kind of prize or they still get a pizza party, etc. When we were kids, it wasn’t like that. Somebody won and somebody lost. There was a reward for people that were talented or willing to work hard to achieve. People who lost were expected to show good sportsmanship. It didn’t mean you had to like or enjoy it, but you had to recognize in that moment that the person you were dealing with was better than you. Maybe the losing team could use this as motivation to work harder.
“equality” is a hot topic word. Another buzz word among society is “self entitlement”. We are all concerned with making sure everyone gets equal treatment and rewards for all efforts, but many people are also aware of this behavior of self entitlement that is emerging.
My niece played soccer 3 years ago. It was a lot of fun watching 8 year olds running around trying to figure out the rules of the game. The parents are all standing up screaming which way to go, to kick the ball into the net, etc. There was a little girl whose dad was especially loud and boisterous throughout the game and was shouting orders to his daughter loudly. At one point during the game, his daughter looked up to the stands where her dad had been screaming and shouting from, and in a moment of honesty she said, “Dad! Don’t talk to me while I’m playing!” I was happy that she finally said that. For a long time, I was thinking the same thing. My neice was on the same team, but with this guy shouting at his daughter the whole time, it was like the game became about only her. Or maybe the game became all about the dad. The dad that could yell the loudest in the stand gets the most eyes. We sign up kids to be in sports with other kids so that they can get the experience of working as a team and forming a community, while the adults don’t know how to behave as a community. We go to sporting events and pretend it is all about us and nobody else is there.
I also went to a church that had a ballet recital this past year and watched parents standing up in the aisles filming their kids dancing with their ipads. I sat behind them in my wheelchair, my vision obstructed by where they were standing. People couldn’t get out of the aisles if they wanted to. For those parents, the ballet was all about them and their child. I understand that you’re obviously going to watch your own kid during a recital and be proud of what he/she is doing, but it’s not only about YOU. Otherwise, why sign the kid up to dance with other kids? Kids dance just fine in your living room to Barney songs. I don’t see you standing there blocking the door to your home while family members want to come in because you’re filming uber important dancing to “Mr. Golden Sun”.
I think the sense of entitlement that is emerging so strongly in our culture is due in part to parents who have over-rewarded their children in a “positive discipline” effort, and now those kids are growing up and having kids of their own to be raised in the same way. Everyone feels like they deserve the trophy, yet nobody feels they should have to work hard to get there. People say they are willing to work hard, but more often you hear complaints about how meager efforts are going unrewarded, and there must be a clearly defined “reward” for every bit of effort we put forth. I don’t know what the reward will be for my physical therapy sessions, but I know that if it doesn’t make me worse it is making me better, and that is enough reward in itself.
The force is with me. How else do you think I get the good parking?
That’s not true I really just want the arms and legs I’ve been watching through the Star Wars movies in order one through six all over again, getting ready for number seven in December. I’m really looking forward to it. JJ Abrams did so well with Star Trek, that I actually have faith he might pull off Star Wars
I’m such a geek that I also took the time to watch the entire clone wars animated series and I have to admit when you put it altogether it’s quite an epic story. You can make fun of the latest three movies if you like, but other than replacing a couple of the actors, I’m not really sure how they could’ve been better in terms of telling the story.
That said, I have to much time on my hands. After watching four of them so far. I have a few questions. First after Vader was burned there wasn’t much left. Did the Emperor have that suit on standby? I don’t think you’re going to stroll down to the 711 and pick up a Darth Vader suit.
Second, how does he use the bathroom in that thing? I have a hard time unbuttoning my jeans I can’t imagine trying to get out of that.
Third This all happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. where are my bionic arms and hands? Do I have to get maimed by light saber to qualify? It’s 2015. What’s the hold up?
I could walk with just a little help.
George Lucas made $4.05 billion when he sold everything off I wonder if he’s got that kind of stuff lying around that nobody knows about
I talked a little bit about my vacation a few weeks ago right here because I am a comedian everything gets put into my act. so, for your viewing pleasure today, I give you my latest standup act and Lauren’s Place in Second Life if you want to find out more about Lauren’s place you can find the whole crew on Google plus right here
If you were paying close attention this week, you’ll notice that I missed posting one day . The simple truth is I ran out of time on that day. We’re all busy. Some days you just can’t get everything done. When I was just a few years younger, I would have never thought about being this busy. Every adult I knew told me it was coming, but I had no idea. As I get older Time management is becoming more and more important. Figuring out what’s important and what’s not on a given day is becoming absolutely essential.
Time management is a skill that you’ll learn by doing. As with the example of missing a post this week. I am far from knowing everything I need to about time management. That said here’s a few things I have learned
Know what’s important
This is going to sound really stupid, everybody should know that paying bills on time is more important then playing video games right? I think logically we all know that but sometimes you just don’t want to pay that bill right then. So you tell yourself, I have a few days I’ll do it later. Then the day it’s due you scramble around trying to get it paid. I hear you saying I don’t have the money to pay that right now. That happens to the best of us. In that case you have to prioritize what’s most important.
For most of us it goes like this
Food
Rent
Utilities
You have to eat, you need a place to sleep and you need power and water. sounds like a no-brainer right? Well I’ve actually met people who will pay their cell phone bill, Before they pay their utility’s
That’s kind of an extreme example but it applies to everything you do in life.
Make a priority list
To me, my cell phone is not a priority I’d much rather eat. I’m using the bills example, because it is something we all have to deal with, but I have a List of priorities that are important to me and they change depending on the days of the week.
On Monday I stand in my standing frame. It’s not something I want to do it every Monday but it’s something my body is telling me needs to happen because I’m getting older and my body is getting tight. That usually takes two hours from start finish. After the standing frame, I eat, get a massage(when that option is available) and get a shower. From that point on I try to focus on whatever work I have for that day. Whether it’s working on this blog or working on projects for the New Media Arts nonprofit. NMA is paying gig, so if there is work to be done. I try to focus on that because I have bills just like you do.
When the work is done, I come here and start to write. Each post I write , takes a ton of time, even with speech to text. A post like this routinely takes an hour or more. That’s just one.
When I’m done with that, I usually try to pray and study. (Although that has fallen through the cracks lately) Long story short, by the time all of this is done, and I look up it’s seven or 8 PM Monday night.
I watch about an hour of TV a day, because most days that’s all I have time for. If you’re looking at my Monday saying to yourself “that doesn’t seem like much” just remember, it takes me 2 to 3 times as long to do everything you do. It gets done it’s just slow. For me that makes time management even more important. It also helps to know what can wait until tomorrow. I rarely get everything done in a day that I need to, My Tuesday was completely different than Monday. As does Wednesday each day have a completely different list of things I need to do.
So let’s recap
Know what’s important, prioritize
Know what can wait
Be smart enough to do big stuff first, bills beats video games
You can only do so much in a day. Rest is important. It is something that I struggle with as well you can read more about that right here
I decided to put this down because it’s something that I struggle with, and it causes stress in my life. Life is too short, to be stress the point that you’re overwhelmed. That’s not good for anybody. I’m not an authority on this and your results may vary. I’m just telling you what I’ve learned.
Who ever originally said one day at a time, was a really smart person.
Image from http://www.cliparthut.com/delegation-women-clipart.html
Click right here to find it on Amazon. You will be glad you did
I’ve been writing, speaking, doing YouTube videos and podcasts since I was 16 years old. As I’ve said many times in all those different forms of communications, I’m not where I want to be. I may be an inspiration to you, but in my own mind, I still feel that I have a long way to go before I reach my personal vision of success.
With that in mind, I read books, and go to websites, on a regular basis, to try and learn more about being a success. My theory is that I can always learn from other people who have succeeded. As I write this, I’ve just finished listening to a book called, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life by Scott Adams. You might know Scott from the Dilbert cartoon. Turns out he is multitalented. He has several books on different topics. You can learn more about him Here.
I enjoyed this one because he writes like me. (at least I imagine I’m that good). He doesn’t claim to know more than you. He doesn’t even claim that what has worked for him will work for you. (I should probably do more of that on this blog, thanks Scott.) The book is all about using systems in life for success instead of trying to achieve a goal. I won’t tell you anymore than that because well, you need to read it. The book fits in nicely with what I do here. Part of the reason I’m writing about it is that everything he says seems logical to me, in terms of the achieving success. I’ve decided I’m going to send this post to him via email as a thank you, (if I can find his email) it was that good. He’s probably reading this right now thinking” Did this guy read the section about business writing” (I did, it’s on my to do list).
So let’s recap. A good system for success is finding other successful people and listening to what they have to say. It hasn’t failed me yet,
I love music. If you have spent much time here at all, you’ve probably figured out I’ve always loved it. It’s part of my life every day. I’m very lucky to be able to promote Live independent music in virtual worlds. If you follow me on Facebook at all, you probably wondered what that was about. Well the short version is, there are unsigned artists playing music for people all over the world. I’ve been lucky enough to be part of the online music scene for more than five years. I just spent the last few hours of my evening listening to 2 fabulous artists who played concerts, to virtual clubs full of real people. One of them is a friend of mine from Nashville named Barbie ( yes that’s really her name) the picture at the top of this post this her avatar on the stage. If you had been there or had been listening on radio stream you would have heard her singing and playing guitar Live from Nashville. You can find out more about her and her band, who you can see play live if you’re in the Nashville area right here
The other person that I heard just before typing this post is the lovely Evie Marie ( AKA Singergirl if you go see her live) . She has been in music since the mid 1980s ( 1986 to be exact). She has played all over the world. Over the last year she has become a Part of my life on a daily basis. She is the one who drives me. The one who made posts to the site so easy that even I could do it. You can find out more about her right here
Virtual Evie
Both of these women have voices that make me forget my own name when they sing. Getting out and going to a live venue takes a lot of for a man on wheels. You have to worry about parking, accessibility of clubs, seating accessible restrooms, and it’s all different at every venue. So it’s extremely convenient for me to be able to log onto my computer and go to a concert in a virtual world anytime I want. For more information check out this article
This post will most likely keep expanding as I show you more of what I do on the Internet. Check the blog often for more of my adventures in the virtual world.
