People watch me everywhere I go. I don’t know if they are curious about the chair, or if I am just so good-looking that they can’t help but stare.   I started to notice it in grade school. Nobody said anything really, there was just always someone watching me. As I got older, that changed. I started to notice people whispering and some would even point. Girls talked to me differently than they did the other guys.  Adults while being unsure about me, even scared of me, generally treated me better than they did other kids. At some point I decided if people we’re going to watch me, I would give them something to watch. I learned to become outgoing, and enjoy being the center of attention wherever I am. I’ll never understand why  people don’t just ask what’s on their mind. If you ever see me on the street and have a question please ask it, no matter how stupid you may think it is. I would rather you ask then not. Anyone who knows me, knows I will answer pretty much anything. Nothing is really off-limits

When I was in college, I had a three hour advertising class that I did not enjoy. There was nothing wrong with the class, I just didn’t want to be there most days. The class started at 1 PM just after lunch. One day, I decided to test a theory .

My theory was that I could roll into the class however late I wanted, and no one would say a word, including the professor who was in her first year. For six weeks I took a long lunch and got to class at least a half hour late every time the class met. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t draw attention to myself, I just rolled in, with my drink in hand, and took my seat. The professor never said a single word, never gave me a look, and I got an A for the class. Granted, I did all my work and studied for the tests, but I’m pretty sure anybody else would have been dropped at least a letter grade. I couldn’t have done that with Dr. Leigh she would have thrown me out of the class and told me not to come back.

People like her are people that I respect and don’t want to disappoint, ever. She never saw the chair or saw me as disabled. If she wanted to talk about something, we talked, just like regular people. I very rarely feel like a regular person. Most days I don’t mind it. If I ever get famous I will already be used to the attention. I had a very close friend  I only met once in person.. She was extraordinarily beautiful and she felt like men and other women were constantly judging her for her beauty. We spent two days together. Afterwords she told me on the phone that those two days were extraordinary because for that time, in a long Time She felt invisible. She felt for the first time in a long time that no one was watching her, because every eye was on me. She said in those two days she was more comfortable then she could ever remember being, because she was invisible. Her name was Patricia and you can read about her here

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, people are just people. Disabled, tall short, fat, thin, it doesn’t matter. Be bold and talk to them. you never know what you might find that out. It’s cool being a rock star most days, but just having a conversation with someone is a lot more fun.

A round of applause for another fabulous comic please. Thanks Evie

This post is a day late. I knew I had a great motivational comic in the works and I wanted to wait to post it. When you’re in a wheelchair almost every part of life is different than for a normal person. That’s not a bad thing it just is. I’ve been in this situation as pictured in the comic many times. 9 out of 10 times I’ve gotten to go down that slide with some amazing help from someone else. it is very strange to be independent minded like I am and yet require so much help for things that most people take for granted. The thing about overcoming a challenge is that you can have all the help in the world, but before any of it is useful, you have to be willing to work and do your part. Every challenge I have ever faced I needed someone’s help to overcome it.

I have had people literally carrying me up the ladder of a slide like you see here. This blog is another great example. The writing comes from me but I cannot express to you how much work Evie does on a weekly basis to give me the ability to talk to you. Besides this project she is involved in everything else that I do. Having her with me has changed my life(and I’m not just saying that because I know her mother reads this.) At this point, I don’t start a new project without her, she means that much. If I wasn’t willing to do the work. she wouldn’t want to help nearly as much.

I do get frustrated because I need so much help, I think anyone would, but as a friend of my dad says “Do the best you can with what you got”  I am less afraid now than at any other point in my life to ask for help, but I know I have to be willing to do my part. What challenges do you need to overcome and who can you ask for help? (if you’re a really nice to me I’ll let you borrow Evie but I’ll need her back).

For more on this topic check out The support system

I have lived with cerebral palsy for almost 37 years now and as I get older it gets harder. One thing that always stays the same is the fact that my seat is always comfortable.

I could tell you what I struggle with every day,( and sometimes I do) but most of the time I think we should always look for the upside in every situation, I don’t really think about my Seat until I’m sitting at a sporting event, or in church,(Church it Is interesting because not only do most people have to sit in uncomfortable seats but they have to get up and down a lot too) I think the church leaders do that to keep most people awake.(Holy aerobics, up down, up down, up down) It’s extremely comical to be sitting in a church service, while  every other person in the building is standing.

I often joke that if I could add a couple cup holders, and a massager attachment I’d have a La-Z-Boy on wheels.

If you are having a tough day, tough week or tough month, I promise there is an upside.  You may not like your job but the fact that you have the ability to go to a job is a blessing. I’m certain your paycheck is better than mine.

No matter where you are or what you’re doing there is an upside, you just have to be willing to look for it. No you can have my seat.

Are you jealous Evie? Give her a round of applause folks for another fabulous cartoon.

I spoke to a school recently and I had a sophomore in high school ask me if I had ever been bullied. My answer was no. That seemed to surprise everybody in the auditorium. What might be more surprising to you is that it’s true.

Everyone was always nice to me. I don’t know if this is because they genuinely liked me or if they were afraid. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that there is a lot of fear out there towards me and the other people with handicaps. Fear of the unknown I guess.

I think one of the main reasons I was never bullied was because I was vocal. If someone had wanted to push me somewhere I didn’t want to go, there wasn’t much I could physically do to stop them. No one ever really tried. I think this is mostly because everywhere I went the authority figures, teachers or older people were always my friends.

If someone had ever tried I would have been very loud and vocal about the fact that I was not a fan of being moved without my permission, and someone around  would have come to my aid. Evie has told me that I am the loudest, most opinionated man she has ever met, bar none. I think most of the people that know me would say the same thing.

I think it comes from the fact that someone in my position has to be able to communicate well because if we are in public there’s a pretty good chance that we will require assistance of some type from others around us. I don’t like it, but that’s just a fact of my life. Because of this, if I don’t like something or don’t want to do something, I’m pretty loud and obvious about it.

I think that’s the key to bullies. You have to make your desires known, and make them known loudly. Preferably to somebody in authority.

I know lots of people, especially young people want to handle their own business, and don’t want to be seen as unable to take care of themselves. If you are one of those young people reading this. Take it from a guy who can’t take care of himself. Like it or not, at some point you are going to have to ask for help from others to be successful.

I truly believe that human beings are not designed to work alone. Maybe that’s just because my circumstances don’t really give me an option to try to work alone. There are many times in my day, whether it’s getting dressed, or going to the restroom, or showering that I wish I didn’t have to ask for help. In each of those situations however, I don’t really have a choice. If you are being bullied, say something. In many cases I promise there is no better choice. You are important, and your opinions and desires matter.

You can take control of every situation that involves you. Sometimes taking control means asking for help. Sometimes you may have to ask more than once. If that’s what it takes then do it. You are in control of what happens to you. If it has already happened, be loud and let anyone who will listen know, so that it doesn’t happen again. You are too important to be bullied, abused or neglected. You are special, and worth it. Take control and let everyone else know it.

I am insanely protective of those who are important to me. You are important to someone, never doubt that. We’ve all been given free will and the ability to take control of our lives however we choose. Don’t lose the remote.

Thank you to Evie for being my partner in crime and helping me to illustrate my stories far better than I could on my own.