People seem to think that all handicapped people know each other. When people meet me, I often get something like, “Hey, do you know so-and-so? They also have Cerebral Palsy.”… “Oh, no?” Then they make this face like it’s very unusual that I haven’t met this person. If there are handicapped persons conventions or parties, I haven’t been invited to them. We don’t all know each other. Which leads me to the next interesting bit…if there is a girl that they know that’s handicapped, they think that we should be hooked up. Think about this for a second. You’ve found a guy that doesn’t drive, with bad vision and a girl that also doesn’t drive, who also has her own issues that he cannot help with. Can you imagine two people with the same problems living in the same house? This is like people without arms marrying other people without arms. It would make much more sense to find someone without feet. Or at least with one hand.

Logically, this is why I’ve been drawn to able bodied women. This may sound chauvinistic, but I need a woman that can take care of me. I don’t mean full time. If I’m ever going to have a successful relationship, she needs to be able to focus on being my girl, not my caregiver. Realistically, I imagine the caregiver will be in the background somewhere and there if we need them. Having someone who can reach a shelf and has good motor skills, 2 things I don’t have, is a big deal. Basically it boils down to the idea that I want someone different for me. I can do things for her too, but probably not highly physical things.

I joke around a lot about a woman who is with me getting handicapped parking, or never having to stand in line because they would always have my lap to sit in, but in all seriousness, being with me has more than a few perks.

When it comes right down to it, people assume  a lot. I’ve heard jokes that white people assume African Americans or Mexicans all know each other, and should get together. That’s  what it feels like. Basic rule of thumb when dealing with any other human being, never assume anything  it will serve you well.

Image can be found Here

I wear a seatbelt so that I don’t fall out of my chair when people come up behind me and scream.

I have really super amazing hearing. My hands don’t work so well and my legs don’t work so well, but my ears work really well. Like SONIC HEARING good. I could be a whole new kind of Batman. Because of my super sonic hearing, I have an aversion to things that make loud noises, like guns, firecrackers and balloons.

I’ll never forget being taken to a party at church and they did that game where it’s like musical chairs but you sit on balloons. All the popping scared the crap out of me.

I was the guy in school that people figured out they could sneak up behind me and yell, which would make me jump. I wasn’t scared, but I have CP so when I get startled I become spastic because my brain works differently. I wear a seatbelt, so that I don’t fall out when people come up behind me and scream. They do that because they think my jumping is funny. My friends would do that. Then they would say they were sorry. And then they would laugh. I guess every superpower has a downside. I wonder if I can get some sort of endorsement deal for my super hearing?

I just did some research on the Internet and it turns out that super hearing is real (sort of) check this out. Just call me Golden ears.

The image can be found right here

Every social interaction that you may take for granted completely changes when you’re on wheels. It’s like being stuck in an alternate universe where you know how things should work, but the normal rules do not apply.

BROKEN SOCIAL NORMS

There are a lot of things that are “backwards” for me that people don’t think about. I personally feel that men should hold doors open for women. Maybe it’s a Texas thing, or maybe it’s just a traditional old-school man thing, but I really feel that I should open doors and pull chairs out for women. I can’t pull a chair out for a woman unless I get there 20 minutes early. How do I get my chair around her chair so that I can push her chair out of the way? And then once she sits down, how to I gracefully help her slide forward to the table? Maybe if I ram it under with my wheelchair. Yeah, that’s chivalry. And stuff.

Come to think of it, nothing with dating is as it should be for a guy in a wheelchair. I remember when I was much much younger being in a bar and a woman asking me to dance. So I go out in the middle of the floor and it slowly dawns on her that I can’t dance. So she asks me, “So, how exactly do we do this?” I smiled and said, “You can sit in my lap”. I took her for a spin around the bar in my wheelchair. She said she would remember it forever because it was the best time she ever had in a bar. She probably didn’t, because she was too drunk to even remember me by the next day.

Unfortunately, if I were in a room with sober women this never would have happened. If I were to ask a sober woman to sit on my lap in my chair, they would be worried that 1. they are going to hurt me or 2. they start thinking that I’m a pervert. I am not a pervert, but riddle me this, all you women out there…How is a handicapped guy supposed to touch you or make any sort of move whatsoever if you are hovering so much higher up there? I’m sitting, you’re standing. By social norms, I’m allowed to maybe touch your elbow or shoulder to connect with you, but reaching up for an elbow looks like I’m reaching up for a breast and anything below that is off limits. I’m totally screwed. I swear I’m not a pervert. But maybe if I throw myself out of my chair I can get you to touch me. LOL. Just kidding.

Me trying to actually make a move on a lady is like a three-toed sloth trying to climb up a tree. It’s like a one legged frog trying to swim to China from the USA, or even from Japan for that matter. But, I digress…

In college I had a friend named Nikki. We were fairly close. Her birthday was coming up and I asked her what she would like for her birthday. She said she would like a ride in my lap across campus to her class. All the women who saw us gave us looks like, “How did that guy get that girl into his lap?” The men seemed to be looking like, “That guy is awesome!” When she got to her class, the other girls were talking about her in whispered tones. Finally, she pulled one of the girls aside and asked what was up. The girl said that the other girls were concerned that she may have hurt me by sitting on my lap. They didn’t think it was “appropriate” and so forth. They asked her, “What if you had broken his legs?” Nikki confidently said, “The worst I could have done is break his legs, but it’s not like he uses those anyway!”

I’m so glad that she took the ride in my chair. I felt included and normal for a little while.

I can’t hold doors open for women either. Usually they hold the door open for me. This is completely emasculating. I feel like I’m a failure in some way when this happens. I say, “Thank you”, but I’m thinking, “If I had working legs, I would totally sweep you off of your pretty little feet. I might even carry you through the threshold.”

When shopping items are on the top shelf it’s embarrassing if I have to ask a woman who is 5 foot 3 wearing 3 inch heels to reach the Fruity Pebbles or Count Chocola for me because I can’t. (Yes, I’m a child.) Not only does she look at me strangely because I’m asking her to get the cereal for me, but also because of the type of cereal. I should shake the box and say, “I wonder if there’s a toy in here?”

I love music. If you have spent much time here at all, you’ve probably figured out I’ve always loved it. It’s part of my life every day. I’m very lucky to be able to promote Live independent music in virtual worlds. If you follow me on Facebook at all, you probably wondered what that was about. Well the short version is, there are unsigned artists playing music for people all over the world. I’ve been lucky enough to be part of the online music scene for more than five years. I just spent the last few hours of my evening listening to 2 fabulous artists who played concerts, to virtual clubs full of real people. One of them is a friend of mine from Nashville named Barbie ( yes that’s really her name) the picture at the top of this post this her avatar on the stage. If you had been there or had been listening on radio stream you would have heard her singing and playing guitar Live from Nashville. You can find out more about her and her band, who you can see play live if you’re in the Nashville area right here

The other person that I heard just before typing this post is the lovely Evie Marie ( AKA Singergirl if you go see her live) . She has been in music since the mid 1980s ( 1986 to be exact). She has played all over the world. Over the last year she has become a Part of my life on a daily basis. She is the one who drives me. The one who made posts to the site so easy that even I could do it. You can find out more about her right here

Both of these women have voices that make me forget my own name when they sing. Getting out and going to a live venue takes a lot of for a man on wheels. You have to worry about parking, accessibility of clubs, seating accessible restrooms, and it’s all different at every venue. So it’s extremely convenient for me to be able to log onto my computer and go to a concert in a virtual world anytime I want. For more information check out this article

This post will most likely keep expanding as I show you more of what I  do on the Internet.  Check the blog often for more of my adventures in the virtual world.