Where I struggle is worrying about other people. Specifically those close to me. One of my favorite TV shows is The Blacklist on NBC. Mostly because of the main character Raymond Reddington, played by one of my favorite actors, James Spader. 

Raymond is known as the concierge of crime.  Basically, If you are a criminal with a Problem Raymond has the resources and connections to make your problems go away.

Raymond is this flamboyant man in a fedora who has all the answers. if he doesn’t have the answers, he will find someone who does. This is how I have seen myself for most of my life. I get crazy satisfaction out of solving people’s problems.

I don’t really like to admit this but there are many aspects of my life that I can’t control. I don’t decide when I go to bed at night or when I get up in the morning. I can’t get up at 3 a.m. to go to the restroom without waking someone else up for help. Simple things that most people take for granted every day. I deal with this frustration by trying to help someone every day.  it may be a kind word,  a few bucks,  or a gift they didn’t expect. I’m always doing something for somebody because that’s how I cope. 

I have wanted to be the Raymond Reddington character my whole life, (Not the criminal obviously) but a man with unlimited resources who could go anywhere at any time with the ability to solve any problem. As early as 14 I thought I was going to be famous, with the ability to write my own ticket and help whoever I pleased. 

I’m 42, and while I’m more famous than most people, thanks to a podcast and an attention-seeking personality, I’m not really where I had hoped to be at this point in my life.  I’m okay with it most days. My life is good, I have a great family and I’m blessed In ways that most people can only dream of. 

That said, In the last few months I have watched friends and people who are close to me struggle in life and I haven’t been able to help. I want to get on the private jet I’m supposed to have and go save the day.  Not being able to is really hard for me to handle. I feel powerless. That is not something I’m accustomed to feeling. It’s not a good feeling. 

I’m writing this today because I know many of you have felt this feeling. Especially over the last year, and I want you to know you are not alone. The prayers that I pray each day have become more important than they were just a few years ago. I hate being powerless,  not having the answers, not being able to solve the problem. I keep from going crazy because I understand that someone bigger than me,   who is watching me go through what I’m going through is in charge and wants the best for me. All I have to do is hang on and do my best to help those that I want to help in small ways Until I can do more… 

I hear people saying things like
“I’ve already watched everything on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime.”
“The dog has been walked so many times she runs away when I get out the leash.”
“My jigsaw puzzle library has been exhausted.”

I have to be honest this is not something that I struggle with. Since all this started I have filled a 12-hour plus day with no problems. Maybe my experience can help you!

The key for me has been having actual work to do. Anyone that knows me knows I’m always working. I have a podcast that has been on the air for 15 years and still going called Gaming Uncensored. We talk about video games but we do everything we can to make it entertaining and accessible for everybody. You can find it right here. http://gaminguncensored.com/

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that Evie and I do lots of different projects together. The main thing we are working on right now is a 3D World that you can visit on your computer using only your web browser. Evie (have I mentioned that she’s multi-talented genius?) built the world and has a hand in everything you will see there We call it 3DWebWorldz and you can find it here. https://3dwebworldz.com/ We have an amazing team working hard on amazing things for you to explore and enjoy.

We have live streaming video music concerts every Friday night at 6PM pacific time to keep you entertained. You can join your friends, virtually, and have a night out without worrying about Covid at all! You’ll find a full schedule of upcoming music events at https://livemusic3d.com/

We also have an extremely active writers group that is made up of some very talented authors. They use the platforms to brainstorm with other writers, and they have great books that they would love for you to read. You can find out more about them at https://fictionfountain.com/ It’s a really fun place to explore and meet people, which is something we all need during these crazy times. Just recently the writers held a book expo where they each read from their books and took questions from the audience during Author Q&A as you can see

The event was a huge success. Readings were done in voice and it gave the authors a chance to promote and sell their books to people from all over without leaving home.

One of the writers is, of course, Evie. She has multiple fantastic novels that will keep your brain engaged and take you on an adventure. (I should know, I’ve read them all).  You can find out more and purchase them here. https://yvonnedebandi.com/

This has become the longest post I’ve ever written on this blog. The point is not to say look at all the cool stuff we’re doing to keep you from being bored, you should support us. I would love it if you did :-)) The point is to put forward the idea that if you are struggling during this time of quarantine, there are things to do and great people to meet. If you are a performer, we can help you connect with an audience!

Writers and Teachers will want to take a look a the Smart Action Software tools we’ve rolled out to help you advance your skills and manage your projects. They are available with a special free preview offer right now.

The “silver lining” about being stuck in your house is that you have time to explore new hobbies and learn about yourself. Find something new that you really enjoy and work on it every day. For me it’s writing, podcasting, promoting online live music and fantastic new 3D meeting spaces. It can be something totally different for you. During this time you actually have time to explore and figure out what you really enjoy.

This is a tough and scary time for many of us, and I’m not making light of anything. I just wanted you all to know that I’m here and want to help in every way that I can. Stay safe and healthy and don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m just an email away.

As always thanks Evie for giving me a place to write when something comes to mind. Her genius is what drives me to keep working every day. Until next time.

I am super excited to announce that my book is finally available. It’s Called  From a seated perspective. Is available RIGHT HERE.  This has been a long time coming. Some of you have literally been waiting YEARS  and I think the wait will have been worth it. After you buy a copy: do me a favor and please write a review. I want to get the word out to as many people as possible.

As with almost everything I do on the Internet these days, This book wouldn’t have gotten done without the help of Evie.  She did more than you guys will ever know to make it easier for me to write and did some amazing art that makes me smile every time I see it. I am a published author largely because of her. I’m not always the easiest guy to work with, so her perseverance means more to me then I have words to express.

I also want to thank my buddy Tommy, who did the final edit. He quite literally tore the book apart. We’ve been friends for more than a decade, and he is always around to back me up. It is very much appreciated. Thank you, sir.

I truly hope you guys enjoy the book. If it sells well I might be convinced to do another one.  So what are you waiting for? GO GET IT

Sometimes I get stuck in my own brain. The pressures of daily life mount, people test my patience, and my chair becomes a prison. I can’t go where I want, do what I want, be who I want to be. Some days it can be absolutely overwhelming. The mental strain can literally take over my mind. It feels like no one understands and there’s no way things could possibly improve anytime soon.

Sometimes I get this attitude. I think we all do. I think it’s part of our selfish human nature. Inevitably though I will hear about someone who just found out they have terminal cancer, and only have three months to live, or I may see a homeless person on the street with holes in their shoes and nothing to eat.

I have learned that I don’t have to look very far to realize how much I’ve been given in life and how blessed that I truly am. Yes I have a wheelchair, but I’m not terminally ill. I have a warm place to sleep and plenty of food to eat. At the end of the day my struggles really aren’t that big of a deal. No matter what your circumstances are right now I’m almost certain that you can look around and find someone who has less to be thankful for than you. Take the time to look around the next time the pressures and stresses of life threaten to overtake you. Be thankful and adjust your perspective.

I am thankful for Evie and for her willingness to continue to work with me. I’m also thankful to all of you for reading. You make this blog worth doing. What are you thankful for?

Leave us a comment.

Today’s Post is a special one. If you’ve been reading this blog for very long, you know that my friend evie built this site and does all of my comics. To be honest I couldn’t do anything that I do on the Internet without her. She is one of the most special and creative people I have ever met. I do everything I can to encourage her to create as much as possible. More often than not something spectacular comes out. Recently she wrote a novel in less than 10 days I kid you not. I read it as she was writing and was completely blown away. She recently made the novel available for sale on her website for $7.99. Let me tell you a little secret about  Evie. She absolutely refuses to promote herself. so today, I decided to do it for her. She’s out of town ,and has absolutely no idea I’m doing this,

The novel is called Raven’s Resurrection. It chronicles a very talented woman’s Journey after abuse dramatically changes her life, and the people she touches along the way. I’m not afraid to tell you that the novel made me cry, and I’m certain that if you take the time to read it it will move you as well.

I am extremely biased because it was written by someone who I am extremely fond of but I’m sure one thing, you will not be disappointed.

Evie has two novels and would love to begin a career as a novelist. Every time I speak to her she has another idea for a book. So today I wanted to take a little time to support her in that endeavor. You can buy the book for $7.99 right here or simply by clicking the cover at the top of this post. After purchase you can start reading it immediately. You will be motivated to do something good for someone else after reading. I guarantee it. Do me a favor and treat yourself and support Evie at same time.

GO GET IT

Happy Monday everybody

This one is pretty self explanatory. I never know how I’m going to feel from day to day. What I do know is that no matter what else is going on with my mind or body, my mouth will work. My speech may be slightly slurred because of other things going on inside or around me. but I can always speak. Sometimes slurred speech is a major benefit when I am on a stage and a crowd is expecting me to be funny.

We all got issues but all of us also have something we can fall back on when nothing else is working. In my case, it happens to be my mouth. Anyone who has known me very long probably have thought that I have talked to much at one point or another.

Now they know why….

What do you fall back on?

Have a great week everybody

As always thanks to Evie for working magic. I’d be lost without her.

I’ve never actually been parasailing but with a little research, I’m sure it can be done. A little research on Google told me that disabled surfing is a thing as well. I don’t know how badly I want to do that, but it’s there. I have been skiing. Until I actually did it I wasn’t sure if that was possible but I do remember the instructor telling me that as long as someone had a pulse, it could be done, and I did. (Yes I fell just like everybody else but it was great fun).

In school I was told that I can do anything that I put my mind to until it sounded like a broken record. Turns out, it’s actually true. We all have limitations, but honestly I believe they are only there as a test we must be willing to take to do what we want. For most of us I think the toughest part is convincing ourselves to try something and being okay if we fail, I know it’s hard for me. I hate to fail and I hate to make mistakes, but it’s the only way to figure things out.

What have you always wanted to conquer if you can convince yourself to try? Let us know in the comments.

The image can be found right here

As always thanks to Evie for her artistic brilliance.

Relying on people is just part of being in wheelchair. I’m very independent but there are just things I can’t do. I’m constantly learning new things everyday to help myself but I fear I will always need help. As long as that’s the case I will have to be patient with other people. I’ve never had to get my mom out of bed for help, my brother is a different story. He is  really hard to wake up. He is also extraordinarily busy. It doesn’t happen often anymore, but when he helps me out, I am very well taken care of but I have to be flexible and work around his schedule. Jane is employed by me, but even she is completely unavailable for three days out of the month. I’m not complaining it’s just a fact. My mother is always around, but is constantly working on something so I may not have the opportunity to go to the restroom the second of the urge hits me. Especially if my family has gone out for something.

I learned very early on that I needed to be careful about what I consumed every day especially if I was going to be on my own for a few hours on a given day. If I know I’m going to be alone from 6 to 10 on a Friday night, I’m very careful about what I drink during that time frame so I’m not dying to use the restroom if they come in 20 or 30 minutes late.

Same with food. I have started keeping snacks where I can reach them in case I get hungry, but if I want a meal I need to make sure I eat when other people are eating. It doesn’t go over well, when you come out after the food has been put away and everyone else is ready to relax. (yes I have done that more than I care to admit). I  normally go to bed around the time that everyone else in my house goes. That’s really inconvenient for me, but it’s also not right for me to keep someone else up because I am not ready to sleep. It gets frustrating yes, but as long as I need help getting in bed, it’s a concession I have to be willing to make.

I also have to be gracious about it. This is something that I struggle with because I am an adult and it’s hard not to feel that I deserve more flexibility in my life. However, I have to remember that the person asking if I can go to bed, (usually my dad) cannot be expected to revolve around me. I’m very lucky that there’s usually someone  available to talk to, even if I’m in bed( Evie and I usually have at least a text conversation every night about something).

I have to be patient and accommodating whether I want to be or not because the people who help me, their needs, are just as important as mine.

Patience seems to be in very short supply in today’s world.I think I’m a better man because I’ve had to learn it just to be able to function. I don’t get exactly what I want, the second I want it, all the time. My needs are met and learning to be patient with other people has made me a better person.

Are there areas in your life that you need to learn patience, especially with other people? Leave us a comment and let us know.

As always big thanks to Evie for all that you do for me.