Doubt me I dare you

jj-brain

I’m going to admit something. When I was little I used to drool…. A lot. As an adult I’ll admit that it happens even now, if I get excited. I hear you saying to yourself “I’m in a fully functional adult and I have issues with drooling somedays. it happens to everybody, it doesn’t mean he’s not smart.” This is true, but add in the fact that I have somewhat slurred speech, limited motor skills, and I sit in a wheelchair. Most people think I’m lucky just to be alive. At first glance, I guess I can’t really blame them. Everybody says don’t judge a book by it’s cover but we all do it. I see a handicapped person on the street, and my first thought is “man that’s got to suck” and then I roll past a mirror and remember I am in the same boat. I think it’s human nature. The difference with me is,  when I see That person on the street I never doubt their mental capacity not for a second.

I don’t live in their shoes and I have no idea what they are capable of. If anything, when I see someone on the street like me, I wonder if they are living up to their potential, most probably aren’t, I’m not even sure I am.

I don’t mind when someone who doesn’t know me doubts my mental ability because it’s fun to prove them wrong, and most time I do. The best part is the looks on their faces when someone walks up and speaks to me like two years old, and 15 minutes later, I’m fixing their computer problems.

My family never doubts me mentally, they can’t. They live with me, and fully understand how my mind works. Where they sometimes struggle, is in their ability to understand how exactly I’m going to get something done. My absolute favorite example of this was my first day of college. My mother dropped me off, and insisted on following me to class. When I said no, her response was” how are you going to get your books out? How will you get notes? How will you get lunch? What if you need to use the restroom?” So she sat in my first class. When the class was over, I didn’t know the answer to any of her questions. I simply looked at her and said “I don’t know but I will figure it out, I love you but you have to go”

My dad has the same problem when I’m working on something new. I call him Mr. what if. He has a zillion what if questions. It took me a while to understand why my family reacted to me in this way. I finally understood that they have faith in me. They just don’t want me to fail or be disappointed. It’s frustrating sometimes that I have to continually prove myself especially to my family. As I get older I’m learning that surprising people every day just means I’m continually getting better and pushing myself. If I just sat in a corner and drooled, like most people expect, I might have a less stressful life but I’m pretty sure I’d be bored out of my mind.

Do people underestimate you, and do you work to prove them wrong?

Thanks into Evie for another fabulous piece of art

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I am impaired and I haven’t had a drop to drink

jj-dui

I don’t know anybody who likes the sound of their voice. I didn’t realize for a long time that there was anything different about mine for a long time. I remember calling into a radio station when I was younger to make a request. The first thing the DJ said was “are you drunk?” When I said no his response was “yeah right” just before he hung up on me. I used to have a friend who worked at a church. I would call there pretty often and ask his secretary to put me through. One day when he answered I asked him why he was laughing. He said that when the secretary buzzed she said “it’s that drunk guy again.” When I was on the radio in college I always got lots of call ins. One morning, a guy called into the morning show, and said to my co hosts “it’s 6 AM, is that guy drunk from the night before? That guy has now been my friend for almost 15 years since that call. I didn’t realize at the time, but I probably got more than a few listeners because they truly wanted to know if I was wasted on air.

I do drink, but not often, I never have. To be honest, I have never really understood the concept of drinking for the purpose of getting drunk. My body is hard enough to deal with when I’m sober, I have no interest in  adding to my issues with too much alcohol. I’m sure there was a party or two that I had too much, luckily I don’t drive so everything turned out okay. Truth is, God gave me all of the deficits of being drunk with none of the enjoyment. I can’t stand or walk, my motor skills are impaired, and I slur my speech, especially when I’m tired. If that’s not absolute proof that God has a sense of humor, I don’t know what is. When I was in school I went to speech therapy voluntarily for three years because I wanted to become a better broadcaster. I wanted a clearer sound, and I wanted to be more understandable. The therapy improved my speech but people who don’t know me will still ask if I am drunk on the phone. Evie can always tell when I have had even a little to drink, I’m not sure how she does that. It must be really funny to listen to.

It doesn’t bother me. I’m a comedian so every time it happens it just gives me more material. My friends often joke that if I ever got drunk enough my motor skills might improve, and perhaps I could walk. I seriously doubt that will happen, but it’s a fun thought. I just hope if it turns out that I can walk, that someone gets it on video. I would really want to see that.

Do you think you have ever mistaken a handicapped person for someone who was wasted on the phone? You might be surprised.

Happy Friday everybody. Please give Evie a round of applause

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I won’t run over you even if you deserve it

jj-oblivious

People have this unbelievable fear that I’m going to run over them. If I’m within 30 feet of them they start moving out of my way. They move their kids like Godzilla is coming to eat them. I have to admit, it kind of gets to me sometimes. I’m not sure I have ever actually tried to run over someone. I can’t speak for other people in chairs but, I work really hard to always know who is around me. I know people already have their doubts about me, I don’t want to reinforce those doubts or worries by being reckless with my chair. In crowded situations it really hits home that people are genuinely afraid. I guess I can understand, but it’s almost as if people don’t believe I’m in control of my faculties or  mentally capable of using a wheelchair. Sometimes I believe that people think I’m going to have a seizure and fall on the joystick losing control and taking them out in the process. That’s what he feels like anyway.(I don’t suffer from seizures.)

Kids love me, they are not afraid at all. They will climb over the wheelchair, with no fear. It’s the parents that are unsure. I get wanting to protect your kids, but sometimes the way  parents move them when I am in the area, I feel like a creepy stalker who is hanging out at Chucky cheese during a kids birthday party. I’ve been in the chair my whole life, if I want to run over you you won’t get away I promise. (that’s a joke, I only run over bad people, yep still joking).

Occasionally, I meet someone in public who truly deserves it, and the little voice in my brain says you can totally get away with it, They are the ones who are completely oblivious that I’m sitting behind them and there’s no possible way I can get by. I think this has a lot to do with electronic devices, everyone has one and we all use them in places we shouldn’t.. It’s easy to get lost in them, I know.  I always resist running over those people, because when they finally realize I am there, I see the fear in their eyes like everyone else. As I write this I’m hearing a quote ‘with great power comes great responsibility(yes I watched entirely too much Spiderman as a kid),

I’m not really sure what the point of this post is other than to say I AM NOT A MONSTER and I am aware that you’re standing next to me. The question of the day, have you ever been afraid that someone in a wheelchair was going to run over you? If so, why?  Happy Wednesday everybody.

Thank you Evie for once again making me look cool

 

 

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I wonder if a Fembot could be reprogrammed to help the handicapped?

jj-help-lightsI pride myself on being low maintenance and as self-sufficient as possible. If you’ve been reading very long, you know I need a lot of help, more than I would like to admit  honestly. Today’s comic is great because in my room, which is probably the most accessible room in the house for me, I can’t reach the string on the ceiling fan to turn on light. I sit in the dark most of time, which I don’t mind (it’s easy on my eyes), but the light would be on more if I didn’t have to ask for help every time I needed it. I’m actually in the process of having my room modified so that lights and window blinds will be accessible by voice. The process is taking longer than I would like because there are lots of hoops to jump through to get it paid for. When that gets done, you will see a post about it, hopefully with video included.

I know turning a light on or off seems like a very simple thing but I have to admit I’m extremely excited because having one more thing in my life that I have control over is amazing. There are 3 million things on a daily basis that I can’t control. Just a few examples, I don’t choose when I go to bed. That’s a big one for me, I haven’t found a piece of tech to help with that yet. I can choose where I want to go but only if someone is available to get me there. If I wanted to go to the store today for example. it would be hard because no one’s around today. Another big one for me is that I can’t use the restroom if no one is around to help. That means if I know I’m going to be alone for several hours, I have to be very careful what I drink so that I can be comfortable. I’m not whining or complaining, it is just part of my life. If I could change just those three things with the aid of some piece of tech, it would probably change my entire life.

Cars that drive themselves really intrigue me, but I’m not sure I would be brave enough to get in one. I love technology so I probably would. Once I did and could go anywhere, watch out, because I would use it all the time. Going to bed when I want only requires having someone around who keeps the same hours as me. I suppose I’ll find that eventually on a more full-time basis. I could wear a catheter to solve the restroom issue at least partially, but if you’ve ever worn one, you know they are not a lot of fun. They serve a purpose but it would be a struggle for me to use one every day. In my brain I think I just need a robot around all the time whose only job is to help me. I’m sure that’s coming at some point.

What is something in your life that you would like to have more control over?

Say thank you to Evie folks for another fabulous comic. She is the closest thing to helpful robot that I have. She makes this blog so much easier.

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Privacy and wheelchairs don’t mix

jj-space

Today’s cartoon made me laugh because it is absolutely true. I have lived in my parents house for my whole life. There are two reasons for this. The first and most important is that like it or not, I need the support system. I just need help. The main two areas that I need help are dressing and bathing, yes I said bathing. More people have seen me undressed then the world’s biggest porn star. I’m not modest because I can’t afford to be, it’s just something that I have to be okay with to function on daily basis.  I stay in my room a lot. I always have. my family actually makes jokes about it. They tell people that I (stay in my cave). It’s very true, I do, and I don’t deny it. I do it because it’s the only place really that I can do things on my own. Watch TV, Play video games, work on this blog. Everything in my little command center has been set up so that I don’t have to ask for very little help. There are lots of days that I only come out for meals. Evie probably reads these posts and thinks that I talk about her a lot, the reason why is that she is one of very few people who spend time with me inside my sanctuary everyday.

Privacy is something that every human needs but when you are handicapped you have much less than the average person. It works the same way for my family, they don’t have nearly as much privacy as they would have if I were a fully functional man who didn’t need help. I am in their space and they are in mine. It grinds on all of us sometimes, but on the other hand, you have to learn how to be patient with people very quickly. Although I have gotten used to it, I think most people take a lot for granted. When I shower, I may not have someone in the shower with me all the time but they are close by. Much like what you see in the comic. Some of the same questions even.

Secondly, up until just over a year ago I had no other help besides my family. Jane showed up about a year and a half ago and has made lots of things possible. I can now go where I want to go and do what I want to do within reason. I can go find a house now if I would like but getting one put together with all the appropriate Lifts a large bathroom, roll in shower, and all the other things I need is not an easy (or cheap) task. I will get there eventually, but in a situation like mine you have to be sure all your ducks are in a row so to speak before you jump. I’ve lived this way for so long that I’m not even sure what I would do if I had more privacy what would be different? I’d wear less clothing most likely 🙂

What do you value about your privacy?

Evie has nailed the comic one more time. I couldn’t do this without her. Thank you for all that you do.

 

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I’ve never done the robot on purpose

jj-movement

Living with cerebral palsy is the ultimate guessing game. This cartoon is probably hilarious to anyone that has CP because it’s true. As I sit here writing this blog, a muscle in my left leg is twitching for absolutely no reason. I’m not talking about a small twitch either, I can see it moving. I’m not making it move it’s just doing its own thing. Tomorrow my left leg maybe fine, and my right arm will just refuse to work correctly. I think there are a lots of factors that contribute to my unpredictable body.

I’ve been told that the weather affects everybody whether they realize it or not, if it’s cold outside, my body gets really tight, I might have twitching going on in multiple places. As a rule my body likes warmer weather. If I’m warm and the climate is nice, I have much better odds of having no real anomalies with my body, but if it’s warm and there is rain in the air, my hamstrings might tighten up or they might not, it quite literally depends on the day . I guess I’m the ultimate weathervane.

The unpredictability of my body is hard for those that help me. More times than I can count my dad has been trying to help me put shoes on, and my feet have curled to the point that they are hard to get into a shoe. He normally looks at me and says something like “relax please.” All I can say to him is that I’m trying and that’s truth.

Sometimes my legs won’t straighten enough to put jeans on. When something like this happens, it’s tough on me because they’re quite literally nothing I can do to help. I often feel like a hassle or a burden whether I actually am or not.

My point with this post is not to depress you but to remind you that life is unpredictable. My body is a daily reminder of that for me. The way I deal with it is just to roll with it. If my hands aren’t working, I ask for help  if I need something immediate, and then focus on making them work until they do.

My dad often gets frustrated because I will spill a glass of whatever I am drinking on the floor, simply because my hands decided to have a dance party as I was trying to pick up the glass. I have one particular glass that I love because it’s big. It’s at least 20 ounces and that means I have to ask for refills much less often, (Plus one of my nieces gave it to me have a present, it has a mustache near the top). My dad hates that glass because I spill it fairly often. He says “why not use a glass that’s easier to handle? My answer at least in my mind, is I’m not willing to stop using that glass just because I struggle with it. My logic is that the glass is like physical therapy. As long as I’m not spilling my drink every time I’m picking it up I need to keep using it, because it’s physically good for me to do so.

I repeat Life is unpredictable, just like my body, but you just have to roll with it and keep working through it. If you take shortcuts you might become less able to handle the next thing that comes your way. I feel like there’s at least one fortune cookie in this post. I wonder if I could make money writing fortune cookies?

What’s unpredictable in your life, and how do you handle it?

Give it up for Evie one more time for giving me good material to work with.

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Sometimes I wear more than I eat

jj-food

Like most people, I thoroughly enjoy food. Maybe a little more than I should. I love home cooking,(my mom has a great cook) and I enjoy eating out. Growing up in Texas, a meal is a social experience. Sitting down to a meal with friends or family, is how I learn what’s going on in their lives. I have several friends who love to eat with me, because when I eat I dive in. Apparently. watching me eat is really entertaining.  My body doesn’t always work the way it needs to, so dropping food from my fork happens fairly regularly, especially if I’m busy talking and not paying attention.

It’s rare that I get through meal with a clean shirt, I’m actually surprised if it ever happens. If I’m eating a burger or burrito that I have to pick up, it gets even more fun. I’m not really the kind of guy who eats a burger or burrito plain and dry. There’s not much I don’t like, so when I get something, I get everything on it. My friend Tommy, will routinely hand me my plate and say “good luck” I always manage to get a meal eaten, no matter how messy it looks. Since my personal assistant Jane has been working with me, she is very diligent about using my napkin like a bib, but sometimes I still get stuff on my shirt.

Thing is, there aren’t a lot of people who will tell me if I have food on my face after eating something messy. I always ask people that I’m with, and hope that they don’t lie to me, just to watch me go around in public with mustard on my mouth. Every time a woman smiles at me, I often wonder if she thinks I’m cute or if there is something on my face that I missed. If I ever get my own TV show, one of the first things I will do is take you guys out to eat with me. I’m thinking ribs, all that sauce will make for great entertainment.

As always, thanks to Evie for another fabulous comic

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My Dick Tracy watch has changed my life

jj-watch

Yes I’m old.

I’m old enough to remember Life without smart phones. I didn’t have a computer in my house until 95 or so. Now I use technology wherever I can. I have computers and game consoles, but by far the most useful piece of technology I own is my Samsung galaxy gear Smart watch.

I didn’t own a cell phone until 2014 because my motor skills aren’t the greatest and it would have been nearly impossible for me to hold the phone and use it at the same time like most of you do every day. I’m certain I would have dropped it on a very regular basis. When the galaxy gear came around all of that changed. It allows me to call and text while leaving my phone in my bag. Before the watch, if I decided to go to movie, I had no real way to call someone to come and pick me up when the movie was over. I became very good at figuring out when my ride would need to be there, and letting them know when they they dropped me off.

The thing is, many times I was wrong.  The movie started late or whatever, in this case I would just have to wait. Waiting in front of the movie theater for more than 30 minutes  Is not fun. Every fifth person I saw would ask if I needed help. I would have to say no, just waiting on my ride. I’m not ashamed of my life, but I always thought it was kind of embarrassing to be in that situation as an adult. Now, with the watch I can call or text my ride as needed. The watch also syncs with my calendar, so I never miss an appointment. It has quite literally changed the way that I do things. Plus, it makes me look like a superhero.

The battery is going out on the watch that I have now so it’s time for a new one. If you have one or have looked at one you know they are not cheap. That said, for someone like me who can’t really use a phone without the watch, unless it’s sitting on a flat surface, the watch becomes an absolute necessity. If I didn’t need to charge the battery every day and a half or so, I might not ever take it off. If you have someone in your life who doesn’t use a cell phone for similar reasons, I highly recommend a smart watch. If you would like to donate to the help Jamie get a new watch fund, I won’t argue, just hit the PayPal button. If you guys enjoy these gadget blogs, let me know. it might be fun to do more.

 

Thanks again to Evie for making me look so cool

 

 

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I spend lots of time in the matrix

jj-matrix

I am generally a fairly upbeat person. If you see me on the street, odds are I will have a smile and look like I own the place. As I get older I’m having more and more days that I don’t feel like the king of the world. Stuff just hurts. I think everybody deals with that as we age. If you’re out in public very long you will notice that a lot of people haven’t learned how to fake it.

Some mornings I get up and because of cerebral palsy my body just refuses to work. I have a pretty standard routine, of checking email and doing other things that don’t require much from me physically for the first hour of my morning. I do this because it takes that long every day just to figure out what’s working and what’s not. I’ve had several mornings recently that I have gotten out of bed sore, and my hands just didn’t want to work at all. My body doesn’t work well on a good day, but especially when its cold, things get even worse. I go through my hour routine, and my brain says” just take the day off and go back to bed, everything hurts, and it’s not worth it” I never go back to bed.

I want to. I talk about it a lot, but I never actually do. My reason for this? Life is too short. If I go to bed every time I don’t feel like being up, eventually I would be in bed all day. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So I put a smile on my face, and I force myself to do something productive. Before I know it, the entire day is gone, and I still have three hours of work to do.

To be honest, I didn’t want to write this blog today, but it got done anyway. Why push myself like that you ask? The answer is because I don’t want to allow my body to dictate what I do everyday. I complain more than I should to those close to me(just ask Evie).

She motivates me every day for reasons I won’t go into here. Let’s just say she has struggles of her own, and she’s much tougher than me. Being around someone who won’t even admit they are having a bad day, pushes me not to think about my little aches and pains.

What’s the moral of the story? Your mind is amazing and you can push through lots of bad days, just by telling yourself repeatedly and loudly that everything is going your way, and you will not be stopped.

 

The matrix is what you make it. What you believe and tell yourself you feel, can actually come true.

Test it for yourself. Neo has nothing on you.

Thanks to Evie floor making me look at least as good as Keanu Reeves

 

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I know I’m a rockstar you don’t have to treat me like one

jj-coa

People watch me everywhere I go. I don’t know if they are curious about the chair, or if I am just so good-looking that they can’t help but stare.   I started to notice it in grade school. Nobody said anything really, there was just always someone watching me. As I got older, that changed. I started to notice people whispering and some would even point. Girls talked to me differently than they did the other guys.  Adults while being unsure about me, even scared of me, generally treated me better than they did other kids. At some point I decided if people we’re going to watch me, I would give them something to watch. I learned to become outgoing, and enjoy being the center of attention wherever I am. I’ll never understand why  people don’t just ask what’s on their mind. If you ever see me on the street and have a question please ask it, no matter how stupid you may think it is. I would rather you ask then not. Anyone who knows me, knows I will answer pretty much anything. Nothing is really off-limits

When I was in college, I had a three hour advertising class that I did not enjoy. There was nothing wrong with the class, I just didn’t want to be there most days. The class started at 1 PM just after lunch. One day, I decided to test a theory .

My theory was that I could roll into the class however late I wanted, and no one would say a word, including the professor who was in her first year. For six weeks I took a long lunch and got to class at least a half hour late every time the class met. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t draw attention to myself, I just rolled in, with my drink in hand, and took my seat. The professor never said a single word, never gave me a look, and I got an A for the class. Granted, I did all my work and studied for the tests, but I’m pretty sure anybody else would have been dropped at least a letter grade. I couldn’t have done that with Dr. Leigh she would have thrown me out of the class and told me not to come back.

People like her are people that I respect and don’t want to disappoint, ever. She never saw the chair or saw me as disabled. If she wanted to talk about something, we talked, just like regular people. I very rarely feel like a regular person. Most days I don’t mind it. If I ever get famous I will already be used to the attention. I had a very close friend  I only met once in person.. She was extraordinarily beautiful and she felt like men and other women were constantly judging her for her beauty. We spent two days together. Afterwords she told me on the phone that those two days were extraordinary because for that time, in a long Time She felt invisible. She felt for the first time in a long time that no one was watching her, because every eye was on me. She said in those two days she was more comfortable then she could ever remember being, because she was invisible. Her name was Patricia and you can read about her here

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, people are just people. Disabled, tall short, fat, thin, it doesn’t matter. Be bold and talk to them. you never know what you might find that out. It’s cool being a rock star most days, but just having a conversation with someone is a lot more fun.

A round of applause for another fabulous comic please. Thanks Evie

 

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