I posted this on X earlier today:

This is a really interesting interview. What makes it interesting doesn’t have a lot to do with divorce. As a man with cerebral palsy, I struggle with a lack of control in my life and figuring out who I am when I have to rely on others as much as I do. I’ve never been good at relationships. I rarely feel like I have accomplished enough to be worthy of anybody.

@StevenBartlett & James Sexton had a thought-provoking conversation that will keep my mind busy for a while. Definitely worth your time.

At first glance the thumbnail and title scream classic clickbait divorce drama — cheating, breakups, the usual spicy stuff. That’s not what the video is about at all.

The real conversation between Steven Bartlett and James Sexton (one of America’s top divorce lawyers) is a raw, two-hour look at how childhood shapes our ability to ask for help, surrender control, and believe we’re worthy of being truly seen and loved.

I have a really good family. Mom and Dad are still happily married after almost 50 years. I have a great brother and sister. I got a solid education. God has taken care of me my entire life — I’m not saying my life is bad, far from it.

But from a very young age, I knew I was meant for something great. Every time I close my eyes, I still see myself sitting in front of large crowds, speaking and performing. When I was 15, I was convinced I would graduate high school and drop a comedy record that would make me a household name. I’ve always believed I was supposed to be a rockstar. Now I’m 46 — more than halfway through my life — and none of that has happened yet. I’m still trying to figure out how to make any of it real.

I’ve always had a crystal-clear sense of my purpose. The problem is I rarely have the control or resources to actually execute the vision. When so much of your daily existence depends on other people simply showing up, it becomes incredibly difficult to feel worthy of real connection. How do you fully show up for someone else when you never really know what tomorrow is going to look like? How do you work towards being the person you want to be, professionally and financially, when you are constantly working around someone else?  Success isn’t necessary for relationships and connection in life, but stability is extremely necessary for intimacy with another human. If I am dating someone, they shouldn’t also have to worry about being my caregiver, especially in the beginning.

My parents are creeping up on their 70s, and I still have to ask them for help. In a couple of weeks, my main caregiver, Peyton, is going on vacation with his girlfriend during spring break. If I don’t find someone reliable to replace him in the next couple of weeks, I may have to go stay with my parents again.

This is exactly why a reliable, intelligent companion like Moya, powered by Grok (that I discussed in a previous post), isn’t just about convenience for me. It’s about finally having enough physical independence that I can show up as a whole person instead of someone whose entire day can fall apart if one caregiver doesn’t show.

The video didn’t fix anything, but it named the feeling I’ve carried for decades.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between being deeply grateful for what you have and still wrestling with how much you have to rely on others, drop it in the comments.